To leash or not to leash, is there even a question?

I was on my favorite parenting message board the other day when a topic came up about tethering your child, or putting your child on a lease like this one:

Some were of the opinion that tethering your child like this is inhumane because it makes them feel like an animal to be dragged about.  They are entitled to their opinion for sure.  But I'd like to send out a generic, to-the-world other-perspective.

I think there are many that have had 'that' child - the 'bolt-er', the 'stubborn independent', the 'escape artist', the 'too friendly for their own good.'  And no matter how well you think you're watching them, almost every parent has had that sickening realization that their child has either disappeared somewhere, even if its for a minute, or headed towards that busy street or parking lot.  I've experienced such an emotion.  And it was only magnified by the knowledge that there was absolute nothing I could do about it.  Because no matter how fast I pushed my chair, I was not going to get to my child in time.  And quite literally my 'bolt-er's life was saved by the fact that I had my sister with me.  She was able to run and snatch her up as her little foot took its first step off the curb as a car was going too fast through a mall parking lot.  I've never been so scared, nauseated, helpless, angry, and disabled as I was at that moment.

I honestly don't remember how I found that little doggy backpack.  I don't remember if it was a gift or if I just saw it at Wally Big Box and the light bulb flared over my head.  My daughter hated it.  She would throw fits when I put Puppy on her.  And for the next little while it really did feel like I was dragging around a puppy on a leash.  She would flop herself on the ground, or she'd start out walking on one side and then stop, run behind me and then try to walk on the other side, making me have to loop the tether up over my head and grab the loop with my other hand.  Or she'd take off running and quickly find her feet out from under her as she crashed to the floor and occasionally bang her little head on my chair.  I know I got quite a few disapproving stares from people at the store or mall.  But despite the learning curve for me and her, and definitely despite my confirming the nay-sayer's opinion on tethering, I knew I was doing the right thing for my child.  I wouldn't have to worry about losing her and I would not have to worry about her dying in front of me because I couldn't catch up to her.

She got used to it eventually.  And as she got a bit older, we did a few trial runs without Puppy.  She would prove that she could walk near me without running off and eventually Puppy was no longer needed.  I attribute this to the tethering.  The physical restraint in combination with verbal reinforcement to obey my life-saving/sanity-saving commands like Stop, Come Back or Slow Down helped my daughter to learn how to stay in my visual proximity, for my peace of mind, while allowing her the independence she craved.

It made transitioning from one toddler to two so much more smooth as well.  And I quickly realized that it was something even more needed when I had that extra child to keep track of.  It took him a bit longer to get to the trusted "leash-free" status, but now I get a lot of compliments on how well my children stay near me. Its like any other parenting tool - its there for the short time its needed to help our children be the best they can be.

The Calm Before the Storm

As I'm sitting here typing, my house is pretty quiet.  My daughter is in school, and my son is entertaining himself with my husband's iPhone.  With my due date coming up in less than 60 days, I've started to really appreciate these times.  They won't be lasting too much longer.  Its been almost four years since we've had a newborn in the house.  Things have fallen into a crazy, wonderful routine since then and I think before my husband and I decided to get pregnant again, we were taking that for granted.  Now that part of me that really, really enjoys that routine is sort of freaking out.

Logically, part of me understands that this time around with an infant will be far more easy than it was when my son was an infant.  My two oldest are old enough to take orders, comprehend and execute (hopefully) without too much fuss.  But when my son was born, my daughter was only 2 years old.  And while she enjoyed loving on the baby and she'd occasionally get me a diaper, I felt like my time was spent chasing after her as much as it was being responsible for my son's needs.  It was one of the reasons I decided to stop breastfeeding him, though we didn't have many problems with his latching.  When you're sitting on your couch breastfeeding, and your daughter decides to start climbing the kitchen counters like Mount Everest, you can't just stand up with baby still attached and get her down.  You have two choices - you either let her continue climbing and possibly seriously injuring or killing herself while your son peacefully nurses, or you put the baby in his bouncy seat, or on the floor or in his playpen, screaming because he's not done, while you transfer yourself to your chair and make sure your child doesn't harm herself.  The bottle was really the reason my daughter is alive today.  With this current baby in utero, it gives me pause to think about what challenges his coming into the family will pose.

Regardless of my nervousness, I know I'm a bit better prepared for a lot of the eventualities that comes with a newborn that I wasn't with my other two.  For one - I learned a little late for it to be useful with Isaac about a contraption called the Moby Wrap.  With two kids to deal with and the absolute necessity of needing both my hands free, this will definitely be a life saver.  And its not just the hands-free aspect that is appealing.  Those darn cheap baby carriers don't work for me.  They were designed to hang properly when you're standing up.  So when it sits in your lap, its way too loose for it to hold the baby securely enough when you're pushing a chair.  Heck, half the time, people using those types of carriers are using one hand to hold the baby against them so the head doesn't flop around when they're walking anyway.  The Moby Wrap holds that little, tiny, floppy being right to your body - no flopping and no feeling like if you bend over they are going to fall out.  Its a Godsend for sure.


Another fabulous find this time around was this crib I found at IKEA.  Heaven bless those Scandinavians for making short cribs.  This crib is the perfect height for me to put baby in and out without either having saw the legs off the crib or me feeling like I'm just dropping baby in!  Its nothing fancy but it definitely will work for me.

And the last thing that will definitely make life a little easier for an infant and a wheelchair is this swing.  The leg's wide base makes it easy for my chair to roll close enough to it that when I put baby in it, my center of gravity is still pretty solid, even leaning over a bit.  The height of the chair is also perfect for that same reason.

The Boy Scout's motto is "Be prepared."  I think I'm about prepared as I'm going to be.  As much as any mother can be whether its your first baby or your third like me.  Now how to deal with sibling rivalry?